Anticipate with First/Then: A Tool from the Anchor Method
Gentle, predictable steps to reduce meltdowns and boost cooperation
Transitions can be the hardest part of family life.
Leaving the playground, getting dressed in the morning, shutting off a screen: these moments often turn into standoffs.
One simple, research-backed method can change the script: the First/Then board.
Why First/Then Works
The idea is straightforward:
First (less-preferred task) → Then (preferred activity)
Example: First put on shoes, then go to the playground.
It’s predictable. It gives your child a clear next step to look forward to. And it eliminates the guesswork from your requests.
The Science Behind It: The Premack Principle
First/Then is rooted in a classic concept from behavioral psychology known as the Premack Principle, sometimes referred to as Grandma’s Rule (“First eat your veggies, then dessert”).
David Premack’s research12 showed that access to a preferred activity increases the likelihood of completing a less preferred one.
When a high-probability behavior (such as playing on the playground) reliably follows a low-probability one (like putting on shoes), cooperation increases without power struggles.
How to Use First/Then at Home
Pick a clear “First” and “Then.”
One action each keeps it simple.
First homework, then video game.
Make it visual.
Use a printable board, dry-erase card, or even two sticky notes. Pictures work wonders for younger kids.Say it calmly and confidently.
No extra negotiation.
“First shoes, then playground.”
Follow through.
If “First” doesn’t happen, “Then” waits. Consistency teaches the pattern.Celebrate success.
Offer praise the moment the first task is done.
Everyday Examples
Morning rush — First get dressed → Then eat breakfast
Screen-time — First finish homework → Then play video games
Bedtime — First take a bath → Then read a story
Toy cleanup — First put toys away → Then choose a bedtime song
Outdoor play — First put on sunscreen → Then go to the playground
Meal prep — First help set the table → Then start the meal
After-school — First unpack the backpack → Then have a snack
Weekend chores — First feed the pet → Then watch cartoons
Save this list or stick it on the fridge for easy reference.
Free Download
Grab the free First/Then Board to print, laminate, or keep on your phone.
It’s perfect for home routines, car trips, and classrooms.
A Gentle Caveat
First/Then is powerful, but use it thoughtfully.
If every fun or restful activity must be “earned,” kids may start to feel that rest and play always come second to work.
Flip it sometimes to reinforce balance:
First rest and watch a show → Then wash hands for dinner.
This shows that fun and rest are essential parts of life, not rewards that must always be earned.
Bottom Line
By pairing tasks with rewards and remembering to occasionally lead with fun, First/Then builds smoother routines and fosters a healthier relationship between work and play.
Give it a try today: First print the board, then enjoy a calmer evening.
Premack, D. (1959). Toward empirical behavior laws: I. Positive reinforcement. Psychological Review, 66(4), 219–233.
Premack, D. (1965). Reinforcement theory. Nebraska Symposium on Motivation, 13, 123–180.